I was watching Just Married with this guy once and at that bit on the wedding night when Ashton Kutcher lays his head on Brittany Murphy’s chest to sleep he was like ‘isn’t that the wrong way round? girls are supposed to sleep on the guy’s chest’ and that’s why straight people are weird.
A couple I know were having trouble holding hands because the boy was insisting that his hand was supposed to go in front
old ass ppl talk shit about my generation until they accidentally disable their wifi and cant figure out how to turn it back on
then im suddenly the mastermind of information & resources
one time my parents had an argument because my dad bought a bald cap for $2.70 but he was already bald
today this guy told me that my dress made my ass look fat (he sad it as a 'compliment') and obviously since it was 8:30 I was too tired for that shit and I replied with 'saying my ass is fat wont make your dick any bigger' and when he tried to defend himself saying his dick was big enough I told him that it doesn’t count if he shoved two thirds of it in his personality and he just looked at me completely defenseless AND BASICALLY I STOLE THAT LINE FROM HERE BUT I SLAYED